apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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