i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
