i was born a porn star she said
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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