Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
