just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
