Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
