i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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