His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
