Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
