think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize