Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
