The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you didnt know i had herpes?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
