No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
time to smoke my breakfast
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
