I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
