there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize