wanna go halves on a baby?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
