it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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