I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
