Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize