8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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