its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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