in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
