I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
