U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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