in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
