I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize