Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
