Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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