So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't deserve a penis
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
