god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
