After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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