we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
