ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize