just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
