planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
