Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
