WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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