I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize