Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
