Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
is that a dick in a sweater?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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