It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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