I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize