in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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