At least make sure they are 18
Why
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
