her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
false alarm. still invincible.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
