so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
