Ambien. No doubt about it.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
