The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She bit a glass in half.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
