And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
