I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Randomize
