Your tits are I can't wait for
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just high enough for therapy.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
