I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
