Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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