Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
