I cannot find my penis.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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