I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
