Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You are a genius and a whore.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
