I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
