i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize