I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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