I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize