Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize