Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
