"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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