Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
All I want is dick and wine.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
