This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
