bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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