He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
