Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
