It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
