god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
