We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
