So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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