Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
