Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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