Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
