and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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