Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
