69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
