I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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